So Your Loved One is in Crisis

So you’re sitting there watching an episode of “Charmed” and eating a bowl of popcorn and a good friend calls you up and says:

“I think I’m suicidal.”

What do you do?

What happens next can be critical. It can save a life. It can cost a friendship. It’s probably one of the worst things you’ll have to face with your friend. But, being calm is the first step.

The first thing is to take it seriously. Suicidal people are already in a bad enough place that if you don’t take them seriously, it could lead them to doing something worse to get your attention. Saying you are suicidal is a call for help. Don’t hang up on them, let them know you’re listening.

However, we all know people who are prone to histrionics. But it’s best to take the suicidal person at their word, at least until you get to the bottom of things.

It’s quite possible that you may not be the best person to take charge of the situation. You, too, can be an emotional wreck looking for a place to crash. If this is the case, it’s imperative that you have the suicidal person dial 911, or that you do it for him. If you’re in no condition to save yourself, you’ll be hard pressed to save others.

The next thing you need to do is get the suicidal person some place safe. There are a lot of options for that. The ER is probably the most severe place you can take them, but if they are in imminent danger of harming themselves or others, the ER is probably the best place to go. They have professionals who can help the person in crisis. If things are REALLY bad (the person has a weapon of some type) call 911 immediately. Let the law enforcement officers secure the person and situation. Let the professionals deal with it.

If the person doesn’t seem to have a plan in place, but is just thinking suicidal thoughts, get them out of the situation they are in currently. If they are home, get them out to lunch or coffee or ice cream. If they are at work, invite them over to your home. If they’re in public, get them someplace private. If they are private, get them someplace public. Get them out of their current situation so they can see that there are other things that happen…that they aren’t “stuck” where they are.

Food is a great comforter. Of course, if the person is depressed because of being overweight, food might not be the best idea. But for most people in our culture food brings back happy memories. Who can be depressed when there’s a fresh loaf of bread being baked in the oven? Can anybody cry over a hot fudge sundae? One caveat, however, do not encourage the use of alcohol. Alcohol is a depressant, and we don’t need to depress any more of the body than is already happening.

Water is also very soothing. Depressed people are notorious for not taking good care of their hygiene, but there’s something very soothing about a nice hot shower, or a warm bubble bath. Encourage the suicidal person to get undressed and step into some type of warm body of water. Be there to wrap them up in a nice warm fluffy robe when they are done. If you have access to them, essential oils can be added to a warm bath that gives the scent and the body a nice smell. Some of these essential oils may have aromatherapeutic value to them. Check the web or an herbalist for recommendations on which scents are good for depression.

I can almost guarantee you that the last thing a suicidal person wants to do is exercise, but if you can encourage him to shoot some baskets, go for a walk, or a swim, or engage them in some type of physical activity, you’ll be doing a lot for them. Exercise will get the mind off the problem, and increase endorphins which lead to the stimulation of serotonin and dopamine which makes the mind feel better. But, expect a lot of resistance trying this. Depressed people usually don’t have the energy or the stamina for a lot of physical work.